A bitter truth

It was year 2016 when I started thinking about getting married. I had a nice job, i had bought a new house and everything was in place. My parents kept asking me about marriage plans and i kept avoiding until then. I was not dating anyone since long and was not close to any girl. So i decided to go for arrange marriage. I started searching girls on matrimonial websites. After searching more than hundred girls, i shortlisted 5 girls. I found out their contact numbers and told my parents to talk to those girl’s parents about marriage.

My parents contacted one girl’s parents and planned a meeting. Our families met after 4 days. Me, my parents and my niece went to girl’s house. At first sight her family looked well educated and friendly. My family showed interest and her’s responded with same. Few days later i decided to meet this girl over a coffee. We spoke for 30 minutes over a coffee. By that time i figured out that she is a nice girl. After few meetings she said that she has agreed to get married. And at that was the start of chaos in my life.

We got engaged after one month and later got married after five months. During those five months i had negative feelings about this marriage and was wanting to pull back. I also wrote about this in my diary. But i stayed optimistic and continued and got married in November 2016.

Things were good until couple months of marriage. After one month, she started complaining that she wont be able to do any work in home (e.g. making breakfast, grocery shopping, cooking). She said “ I never did such works at my parents house. I wont do it here. I want full time maid for these works”. I told her that everybody in this house is having some responsibilities and task. We all have to work as a team and stay happy. Cooking was never an issue because my mom used to cook everyday. My mom sometimes used to ask for help. To be honest i always wanted my mom to cook for me because i love what my mom cooks. I never liked what this girl used to cook. She must have never cooked in her entire life. Her cooking was tasteless but i never made complaint about food. I was against keeping maid for all jobs.

After few months we all went for family dinner. While having dinner at restaurant, she started arguing with me about food choices. I told her to stay calm and discuss these things as we reach home. But she kept arguing and spoiled family dinner. Later when we reached home, my mom was trying to talk to her and wanted to calm her down. This girl refused to stay calm and started arguing with mom.

We all ignored what happened that day and started living normal life. I noticed that she never used to talk to my parents. Never used to respect them. My parents are very down to earth and friendly. They live simple and private life. I had no idea why this girl was so much against my parents.

We did not even completed one year of marriage and one fine day something unexpected happen. It was day of Lakshmi Poojan (Diwali) in year 2017. My mom told to this girl to do pooja and said “You are a leading lady in this house and this is your first year in this house. I want you to perform rituals”. She said “No. I want to go to my parents house as they are waiting for me”. Unfortunately i was not at home. I was out of country and couldn’t handle that situation. She left house on that auspicious day of Diwali.

After that day, i kept visiting her parents house. I wanted her to come back and start living together. Her parents gave me a condition – ‘You have to start living separate from parents. We dont want our daughter to stay with your parents’. I told them that it is not possible because i believe in complete family. Staying together brings happiness at home. Her parents and she did not agree. I kept trying for several months but nothing worked. In fact she and her family used to abuse me and send me back. We also arranged a family meeting and tried to sort out thing. But it did not help. She abused me and my father in front of everyone by calling us beggar. I still remember those harsh words.

After waiting for long seven months i decided to speak to lawyer. I sent her a notice so that she can come back and start staying with me. But she did not respond to that notice. Instead she wrote a email saying she is happy with her parents and is not coming back unless i leave my parents. I still waited and filed for a divorce.

I thought she will change her mind but she responded with maintenance notice. This complicated things. She is staying away from me, doesn’t want to come back but still demands maintenance.

After third hearing in court, judge suffered a heart attack and passed away. That caused six months delay for next hearing. Yesterday was first hearing with new judge. He spoke to me and wanted me to rethink about divorce. I told him that i am very much sure about it. As there is no more love and we are not living together since almost two years. Things are not good between us and i want separation.

Judge gave next hearing date on 9 September 2019. I hope things get sorted out soon and i get divorce.

i tried and gave my 100% to save this marriage. Later i realised that i was actually begging and lost all self-respect. My bonding with her never went well as there was no mutual understanding. She kept demanding separation. I lost all love an attachment and decided to speak to lawyer.

In her reply to divorce notice, she has said that “I am ready to sign on divorce papers only if i get one crore rupees (10 million rupees)”.

She is master in dentistry (MDS). She has her own dental clinic in sector 21, Nerul, Navi Mumbai, MH, India. She is working as a professor in dental college in Ahmednager. Her financial condition is very good. She wants more money to stay happy.

The bitter truth in this world is Money > happiness

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